Most men have been trained from childhood to not give voice to what we feel. We therefore suffer from silence, and in silence lack a deep connection and relationship with one another. In addition, we are raised to compete with one another and to focus on the win. Many of us turn to women to fill the intimacy gaps, but even there we are still caught in relationships of domination and/or dependence.
Men Getting Real with Men starts with the premise that if we become real with ourselves then we can become real with one another. If we are real with one another then we can become real with everyone. No longer strangled by the fear of feeling shamed or being dominated, no longer focused on protecting our images and positions, no longer trapped in roles that limit and confine us, we are free to discover ourselves. We are free to love ourselves and all humankind. We are free to expose and therefore heal our deepest wounds. We are free to release our potential. We are also empowered to become role models for all men — gay, transgender and straight, young and old; role models who demonstrate that “real men” are real not because we fit some power image created by our egos and collective prejudices, but because we are authentic.
What does it mean to be authentic? It means we are transparent about who we are, both our strengths and weaknesses. It means we dump our egos’ agendas and follow our deepest desire to pursue relationships and to become full participants in our families, our lives and our world. It means we acknowledge our heartfelt desire to become better people by overcoming our reactivity and negative programming. It means we acknowledge our need for love and that we connect to our spirituality, which is the birthright of our potential. As real men, we can choose cooperation and oneness rather than competition and violence; we can choose connection rather than posturing; and we can become true leaders and a blessing to all.
Men Getting Real with Men is a group that supports this dream and enables us to become the living embodiment of it. We would like to support men to get real with men everywhere, from the boardroom to the locker room, from the offices of government leaders to the places we interact with our sons.
Men Getting Real with Men is a branch of The Stream, a spiritual community and nonprofit educational corporation. Our work is based on the principles, tools and practices contained in the book Living with Reality, written by Stream founder Beth Green.
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